It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
