I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
