yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
