I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize