went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
