I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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