What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
