i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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