just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize