we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
