4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
