getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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