I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
