and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
