Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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