I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
