The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
