Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
How's work?
Spinning.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
