Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize