What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
