Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
