I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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