Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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