what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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