Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
