i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
