Duck Duck Cougar?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
