I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i've created a new STD.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
