do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
