He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
