After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
