I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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