I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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