lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
