So gin and wine won't be happening again
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
