considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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