i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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