he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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