You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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