So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
