You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm going to jail i love you
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
