hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
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