thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
