and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
