new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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