i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
