Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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