: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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