I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
