And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
