I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
