no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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