you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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