he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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