maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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