new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I deserve this hangover.
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