The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
