oh god the rape fog is back!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
