Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
