We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
