so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
