I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
