I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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