if you like me you must not know who I am
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She bit a glass in half.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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