im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We have so much sex to catch up on
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
